Review of How to Be a Perfect Stranger

Matlins and Magida's Religious and Cultural Behavior Reference Book

Dec 29, 2008

There are some questions that people don't think to ask until they are walking up the steps to an unfamiliar door that will lead to an equally unfamiliar service.

For people lucky enough to have a multicultural circle of friends, How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook, is an indispensable tool when given an opportunity to participate in cultural events.

A Reference Guide for a Multitude of Ceremonies

Although editors Stuart M. Matlins and Arthur J. Magida bill the book as a "Religious Etiquette" reference book, it is more of an etiquette book for customs and expectations for ceremonies of different cultures, which are often dictated by religion.

The wide range of religions covered in the book is impressive. In addition to Christian denominations and branches, such as Catholic, Quaker and Mormons, the book covers Buddhist, Hindu, Islam, Sikh, and Native American Churches.

The book is exceptionally detailed, and offers information about the lengths of the services, the general set-up of the churches, and an introduction to the vocabulary and philosophies of the religions or belief systems.

From the moment an invitation arrives in the mail, How to be a Perfect Stranger is a perfect companion to sorting out what needs to be done. The book answers questions no one thinks to ask, including questions about:

This is the sort of book one should carry along in the car on the way to a ceremony; it includes advice about what to do if one arrives to a ceremony late, how to address the clergy, and in which rituals guests are expected to participate.

Although How to be a Perfect Stranger is a thorough book, it is not infallible. For example, in the Eastern Orthodox church, there are several funeral services; the book leaves out the Trisagion memorial service that is customarily held the night before a funeral. Readers may want to double check with another source to confirm what How to be a Perfect Stranger advises; individual churches may deviate from traditional customs.

How to be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook, Third Edition (ISBN: 1893361675) was edited by Stuart M. Matlins and Arthur J. Magida. It was published by Skylight Paths Publishing in December 2002. It won the Benjamin Franklin Best Reference Book of the Year Award for Independent Publishers.

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